My perception of a leader is someone who has the courage to embrace and carry a vision that outlives them. Leaders are visionaries who make choices and decisions that affect generations that follow. Leaders typically generate movements that outlast them. Leaders might appreciate the question, “Will my efforts die with me?” Accordingly, leaders tend to see themselves within a larger construct and as a necessary component on a continuum for progress. Because leaders understand that the effectiveness of their efforts depend on future generations, leaders work hard to inspire others to catch their vision. However, it is important to point out that true leaders are more committed to the vision than their own personal legacy. In this sense, real leaders will not compromise the vision for the sake of popularity. In other words, a leader will walk alone for their vision, before they allow the vision to become vulnerable to ideological heresy.
It is worth noting that leadership qualities work on large and small scales, yet ultimately produce the same results, inspiring others to continue the work– establishing legacies – breaking trends, and progressive movement. For example, in my family, I am the first person to attend college. That alone, does not qualify me as a leader. However, I have survived physical and sexual abuse, teen pregnancy and dropping out of high school. As a leader, I provide mentorship, safety, direction, and inspiration for my children, extended family, and my community. My mother was a teen wife and mother, my family has a history of alcohol and drug abuse, and typically my family worked as laborers. Today, our family functions are dry, wholesome, and predictable. My daughters are both graduating – one from college and another from an independent private school – my mother has gone back to school and is pursing her Master’s degree in English Literature and I am a law school graduate preparing for the Ohio bar. My mother indicated that she was inspired by my decision to go to school. Furthermore, my children deem it unusual that I dropped out of high school, because they understand that education is a bridge away from poverty, and a tool for access and enlightenment; my children appreciate this because my life demonstrates this truth. Today, when I attend family functions, education is the topic of choice, and most of my extended family has plans or desires to attend college.
Moreover, my children have a model and a framework to rear future generations. Because I embraced my role as a leader, our lineage and ultimately our community will benefit. Additionally, my experiences have created opportunities for me to mentor, and speak to young women with similar backgrounds who also desire change for their family legacies. The hard work that I have put into my life has fostered relationships with people who can bring resources and raise awareness about sexual abuse, poverty, and teenage pregnancy. After I pass the bar, I will further my leadership role by using my license and training to build and support legislation that protects children. I will use my position in public service to speak and provoke powerful people to take issue with the neglect of children in our community. I will use the power of my testimony to encourage activist and other leaders to keep our children on their radar. I will work with legislators, courts, and social or government institutions to drive policy that helps young parents.
Ultimately, my life is evidence of leadership on a relatively small scale. On a much larger scale, well-known leaders such as Dr. Martin Luther King, and President Barack Obama both embraced visions, inspired others, broke trends, established legacies, and have created movements that, in the case of Dr. King, has – and for our President – will, outlive them.
Moreover, sincere leaders often see their call in life through a lens of humility. They also see their calling as a blessing and a burden; this is because true leaders are willing to die for their vision. True leaders; never stop aiming for their objectives. They are able to focus without getting distracted, and seem at ease with delayed gratification. Leaders are strategic in their efforts so having to wait for a goal, usually does not cause them to waiver. In addition, leaders have followers; they have people who will walk with them to achieve their vision. Genuine leaders prepare and train others to carry and protect the vision after they are gone; genuine leaders are more committed to the vision than their own sustainability. It is important to remember that not everyone in a leadership position is a true leader. Temporary things like popularity, dogma, intimidation, luck, or money do not provide enough substantive girth to create real leaders; leadership qualities are universal and eternal.
Furthermore, leaders are skilled at recognizing leaders in the making, and the true leaders encourage and cultivate upcoming leaders. True leaders are not frightened or intimidated by future leaders, because they appreciate that the vision must go on after they are gone. Another reason leaders are not concerned about future leaders is that the insightful leader understands that his or her path is exclusively for them; in other words, true leaders understand that only he or she can walk their path. In this same spirit, future leaders are typically mindful and deferential to proven effective leadership.
Finally, real leaders care about the world they leave behind, not just the one they occupy.
© 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Why our daughters are so angry
For the last twenty-two years, I have had the opportunity to pour into the lives of young women between the ages of 13 and 19. In mentoring and assisting these young women, I noticed a trend amongst the girls who demonstrated the most extreme or at-risk behavior; that trend was anger. Anger manifests itself in many ways, however, in young teenage girls, it is often a response to feeling powerless. It is often this sense of powerlessness that fuels the anger in some of our girls, and leads to at-risk behavior. Admittedly, the sense of powerlessness is not unique to girls, however, when perpetuated in a society that teaches women and girls, particularly black women and girls, that they are second-class citizens, an early introduction to feeling powerless deconstructs any sense of value or worth.
Moreover, the sense of powerlessness is reinforced emotionally when those same girls who live in an inequitable society experience abuse, poverty or hopelessness. Now here is the kicker…almost every girl that I have encountered who acts out of anger or rage, experienced their first feeling of being powerless from someone they trusted. This is key, because our initial nucleus is supposed to gird us as humans before society works to dismantle us. Typically, it is in the home or our immediate community that we learn about relationships, roles, and family or social dynamics. We should be taught how to dream, work hard, love, have discipline, set goals, etc. Those teachings are independent of class or status. It only takes love and dedication to convey these kinds of abstract concepts to children. In this sense, even a female African child in a society of white male privilege can have pride and a sense of value, that won’t be easily shaken. But when our daughters witness their mothers making choices that scream against their worth, or forced to process adult scenarios with a childish temperament, you will see riotous, angry young women barreling down a path of self hatred, drenched with the need to control and committed to acts of madness with respect to their lives and their futures. There are an undocumented number of hours that mentors spend listening to young women wrestle with articulating the motives or logic behind their at risk actions. I have witnessed girls in anger stages that translate into promiscuity, violence, eating disorders, and substance abuse. Interestingly, these at-risk behaviors seem universal for angry teenage girls; however, girls in urban or rural areas are often burdened with the additional task of having to deal with limited resources, poor education, and, for girls of color, a media industry that uses propaganda to convince them that they are only good for their body parts. Our daughters are angry because we are raping and demeaning them. We are raping them physically, and we are raping them emotionally; and they feel defenseless. Our daughters feel powerless before they can even understand the meaning of the word. But true to the spirit of a girl, they find ways to take back their power, even if it means sacrificing their lives. For example, when I worked as a Moms First outreach worker, I encountered hundreds of young women who became pregnant as teenagers. Getting pregnant was not always an act of rebellion or self-hate. The truth is, girls get pregnant for many reasons; some were pregnant because they, along with their partner, planned to get pregnant. Others simply were not careful. Some had no connection with the reality of being a parent, and simply wanted the attention and coddling that pregnancy typically invokes from loved ones. Others didn’t mean to get pregnant, but couldn’t afford abortions. Older men manipulated some girls with gifts and meeting basic needs and the pregnancy was a way for each person in that scenario to secure the relationship. Others had no real association with their body outside of seeing themselves as the object of someone else’s needs; in this instance, the baby is just the byproduct of an act.
Still, I would say the number one reason I get when I ask girls about their pregnancy is “I wanted someone to love me.” In this case, the baby represents something that the girl can love. The baby is something to make them feel at peace. For many of these girls, the baby means there will be at least 40 weeks where they won’t identify with feeling angry or powerless. Another behavior that happens to be on the rise amongst angry girls is the use of violence to resolve conflict. It’s well settled that violence is a learned behavior and I believe that as an act of survival, some girls who feel powerless, quickly size up the power structures in their immediate lives. I have witnessed girls assume male associated behavior in order to present themselves as powerful. Unfortunately, the perceived male behavior that some girls associate with power is the ability to dominate others physically. The relationship between violence and anger is sort of like the chicken and the egg theory; they breed one another. If violence proves effective in making a girl feel powerful, it typically becomes the toxin of choice by the time she becomes an adolescent.
Ultimately, our girls are angry for many reasons; there is no silver bullet here. Things like being objectified at every turn, exploited at home and in society, confronted with images that are demeaning, treated as toys for the pleasure of men, shunned or ostracized by older matriarchs enveloped in their own self hate and insecurity, poor education, limited number of programs that speaks to their needs, partners who are not sophisticated or confident enough to love them, and a community of children and loved ones that makes demands on them in spite of it all. This is particularly true for girls of color. Most young girls of color in urban areas witness the women in the community taking care of children, going to work, and making sure the family’s basic needs are met. Girls of color in urban areas are trained early that women get things done. They learn that they don’t have time to nurture or heal themselves. Some of our daughters of color are angry because in our communities, where typically women make up the head of household, they tend to raise the daughters and love the sons. In this same spirit, many of our girls are angry because they don’t get a chance to be girls for long. They have to be mothers and wives, social workers and breadwinners before they can develop their pre-frontal cortex. (The CEO of our brain, which helps humans control impulses.) This part of the brain develops after adolescence, which means most of the time, it’s natural for teenagers to resist order and instruction and make decisions in haste; other words, it’s typical for them to grapple with impulse control. But for our girls who live with an undercurrent of anger thriving through their emotional and intellectual framework, the challenge becomes all the greater. Essentially our girls have their innocence stripped away too early through some social construct or a vehicle of influence or power. And for girls of color there is an additional plight, which is best characterized by Dr. Martin Luther King’s depiction of the effect of racial injustice on innocence; clouds of inferiority tend to form in their mental skies. In this sense, not only are their circumstances telling them they are not worthy, but society is there to underpin this notion again and again. Sadly, for girls of color, they don’t just get it from their society, like many of their foremothers, they get it FIRST from their homes and their communities. © 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Moreover, the sense of powerlessness is reinforced emotionally when those same girls who live in an inequitable society experience abuse, poverty or hopelessness. Now here is the kicker…almost every girl that I have encountered who acts out of anger or rage, experienced their first feeling of being powerless from someone they trusted. This is key, because our initial nucleus is supposed to gird us as humans before society works to dismantle us. Typically, it is in the home or our immediate community that we learn about relationships, roles, and family or social dynamics. We should be taught how to dream, work hard, love, have discipline, set goals, etc. Those teachings are independent of class or status. It only takes love and dedication to convey these kinds of abstract concepts to children. In this sense, even a female African child in a society of white male privilege can have pride and a sense of value, that won’t be easily shaken. But when our daughters witness their mothers making choices that scream against their worth, or forced to process adult scenarios with a childish temperament, you will see riotous, angry young women barreling down a path of self hatred, drenched with the need to control and committed to acts of madness with respect to their lives and their futures. There are an undocumented number of hours that mentors spend listening to young women wrestle with articulating the motives or logic behind their at risk actions. I have witnessed girls in anger stages that translate into promiscuity, violence, eating disorders, and substance abuse. Interestingly, these at-risk behaviors seem universal for angry teenage girls; however, girls in urban or rural areas are often burdened with the additional task of having to deal with limited resources, poor education, and, for girls of color, a media industry that uses propaganda to convince them that they are only good for their body parts. Our daughters are angry because we are raping and demeaning them. We are raping them physically, and we are raping them emotionally; and they feel defenseless. Our daughters feel powerless before they can even understand the meaning of the word. But true to the spirit of a girl, they find ways to take back their power, even if it means sacrificing their lives. For example, when I worked as a Moms First outreach worker, I encountered hundreds of young women who became pregnant as teenagers. Getting pregnant was not always an act of rebellion or self-hate. The truth is, girls get pregnant for many reasons; some were pregnant because they, along with their partner, planned to get pregnant. Others simply were not careful. Some had no connection with the reality of being a parent, and simply wanted the attention and coddling that pregnancy typically invokes from loved ones. Others didn’t mean to get pregnant, but couldn’t afford abortions. Older men manipulated some girls with gifts and meeting basic needs and the pregnancy was a way for each person in that scenario to secure the relationship. Others had no real association with their body outside of seeing themselves as the object of someone else’s needs; in this instance, the baby is just the byproduct of an act.
Still, I would say the number one reason I get when I ask girls about their pregnancy is “I wanted someone to love me.” In this case, the baby represents something that the girl can love. The baby is something to make them feel at peace. For many of these girls, the baby means there will be at least 40 weeks where they won’t identify with feeling angry or powerless. Another behavior that happens to be on the rise amongst angry girls is the use of violence to resolve conflict. It’s well settled that violence is a learned behavior and I believe that as an act of survival, some girls who feel powerless, quickly size up the power structures in their immediate lives. I have witnessed girls assume male associated behavior in order to present themselves as powerful. Unfortunately, the perceived male behavior that some girls associate with power is the ability to dominate others physically. The relationship between violence and anger is sort of like the chicken and the egg theory; they breed one another. If violence proves effective in making a girl feel powerful, it typically becomes the toxin of choice by the time she becomes an adolescent.
Ultimately, our girls are angry for many reasons; there is no silver bullet here. Things like being objectified at every turn, exploited at home and in society, confronted with images that are demeaning, treated as toys for the pleasure of men, shunned or ostracized by older matriarchs enveloped in their own self hate and insecurity, poor education, limited number of programs that speaks to their needs, partners who are not sophisticated or confident enough to love them, and a community of children and loved ones that makes demands on them in spite of it all. This is particularly true for girls of color. Most young girls of color in urban areas witness the women in the community taking care of children, going to work, and making sure the family’s basic needs are met. Girls of color in urban areas are trained early that women get things done. They learn that they don’t have time to nurture or heal themselves. Some of our daughters of color are angry because in our communities, where typically women make up the head of household, they tend to raise the daughters and love the sons. In this same spirit, many of our girls are angry because they don’t get a chance to be girls for long. They have to be mothers and wives, social workers and breadwinners before they can develop their pre-frontal cortex. (The CEO of our brain, which helps humans control impulses.) This part of the brain develops after adolescence, which means most of the time, it’s natural for teenagers to resist order and instruction and make decisions in haste; other words, it’s typical for them to grapple with impulse control. But for our girls who live with an undercurrent of anger thriving through their emotional and intellectual framework, the challenge becomes all the greater. Essentially our girls have their innocence stripped away too early through some social construct or a vehicle of influence or power. And for girls of color there is an additional plight, which is best characterized by Dr. Martin Luther King’s depiction of the effect of racial injustice on innocence; clouds of inferiority tend to form in their mental skies. In this sense, not only are their circumstances telling them they are not worthy, but society is there to underpin this notion again and again. Sadly, for girls of color, they don’t just get it from their society, like many of their foremothers, they get it FIRST from their homes and their communities. © 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Promoting Genius on a Budget
I have often had parents say to me, "how can I send my child to college if I can't afford it?" Or "how can I make sure my child still receives a quality education if I feel that school system is failing them?"
Well there are several things that parents can do to increase the odds that their children will be able to attend college regardless of their income. There are also things parents can do to supplement their children's education at home.
Begin placing the idea of college into your child at a very early age. Allow your child to embrace this vision for their life. When you travel, find out what colleges are the area and set up a visit. Even as early as elementary school. This is particularly if no one in the family has ever gone away to school. The child should become familiar with the lingo and protocol that goes with attending college. College should become part of everyday conversation in the home. This will also give them something tangible to think about while they are in school. Also, when your child enters high school, it is a good idea to set up a rapport with colleges you are interested in. Get to know the people in the admissions and financial offices, the process, etc. If and when you can, go for a visit, and create relationships with the people there. If you cannot visit, then email or call. Do Something.
If your child is interested in a particular area or soars in a particular area, call or email the head of that department. If your child is a very good student send report cards to the school with notes of your family's anticipation about the child attending. If your child is the first one to attend college, let the college know early. First generation college students are very attractive to schools and scholarship resources.
If your child does not have the highest grades, but soars really high in one area, nurture that area and find schools that may be smaller but have a great program in that area. Send items demonstrating your child's high performance in that area. For example, if your child is a phenomenal artist or a great musician, send pictures or samples of their work. Make sure you have their work legally protected. A helpful website to help you protect your child's work is www.copyright.gov
If your child is a great athlete but does not attend a Division 1 highschool, then start keeping track of your child's stats and grades. If your child is doing well in school and is an outstanding athlete, contact schools and invite them to see your child play. Every year send them your child's stats and grades. Send it directly to the coach if you feel bold! If you can, videotape your child while playing as often as you can, and send copies of their performance.
Collect letters of recommendation or character from everyone who spends time with your child. Teachers, youth counselors, pastors etc. Don't wait until their senior year to do this, start EARLY. Start in middle school, elementary even. You may think that is a bit extreme, but keeping these letters and awards in a revered place in the home will build your child's confidence. It also gives potential colleges and private high schools a portfolio of your child.
You should also know your child's guidance counselor by their first name. More importantly, you should make sure that they are doing their job. If the highschool your child attends is not servicing them properly, call other schools and ask the guidance counselors what you should be looking for. Your guidance Counselor can help with fee waivers for college applications, and taking the SAT or ACT. Comparing schools is another way to make sure your child keeps a competitive edge. By the way, become very familiar with www.collegeboard.com
This website is phenomenal. It helps you register for the SAT and the ACT. It also keeps you aware of the dates so you can prepare. The site automatically sends your scores to colleges you indicate and scholarship resources. If you don't have a computer, tell your guidance counselor to help register your child DURING THEIR JUNIOR YEAR. Also, your child may take the SAT test at least three times. Try to have them take all three before the February of their senior year. This may mean taking the test once in the spring or summer of their junior year. Finally, make sure you have completed all financial aid applications by January 31 of their senior year. If you do the application online, you will need an email address and a pin number. Get the guidance counselor to help you. If not, go to the library and get the librarian to help you. Don't let them leave until you understand. That is their job. Or find a young college student at church or in your village to help. Ask early. Let them know in October you will need their help in December. You will need your W2's or proof of the year's income. It may sound scary if you have never done this, but so was driving, balancing a checkbook, and raising a family in the beginning. It just takes one step at a time and if others have done it, you can too.
Also, Don't underestimate partnerships and networking. If you work for a company, find out what scholarships are there. If there aren't any, campaign to create some. Ask your church to start a scholarship fund. Be savvy; don't wait until YOUR child is graduating to do this. Start it while your child is young.
There are also some old fashion methods which includes saving and investing. Each state has an educational plan that you can pay into while your child is young and lock tuition prices so that they don't increase as your child gets older. This is a helpful way, but the truth is, many of us are living paycheck to paycheck and do not feel we are in a position to save and invest. I would argue that we need to work our way out of this lifestyle as well, but until then, there are things we can do to promote and educate our children that are NOT COSTLY.
As for supplementing their education, while your child is young, find out what other schools have their children reading and make sure your child is reading these books. If you visit your local library or bookstore they usually have a summer reading list for most of the schools in the area. Peruse through the list of books for private and suburban schools. If you cannot locate such a list, ask your local librarian for a list of "the classics."
Of course, with children of color, the classics may not always include novels and works that speak to their experiences, so compile your own list of classics. They should not be mutually exclusive of one another. They need to read as much as they can as often as they can. During the summer, while in the bathroom, while waiting at the doctor's office, on long trips. If you need help, call a local community college and find out who is teaching African American literature. Yes, call just like that. The professor will WELCOME the call. I promise. Tell the instructor that you want to compile a list of age appropriate works of literature for your child.
Remember, early is always the key word. When at all possible, start the reading and the love of reading early to your children. Let them see you get excited about books. Let them see you read. Read to them. Make books part of the family.
This is important. College entrance is competitive and your child needs to be able to compete. But most important, their innate inquisitive nature should be trained to seek knowledge and understanding. Always. As for math, when your child begins to tackle algebraic equations and beyond, you should make sure that your child is doing math every night during the school year and at least once a week during the summer to stay fresh. This is the same for foreign language. Math and foreign language are subjects that usually require daily attention in order to grasp it. You may want to start locating resources that help you apply math and logical concepts to everyday life so that you can help your child think and become more familiar and comfortable with thinking in that way. It might take some work and maybe some assistance. But your efforts will bring fruit. Unfortunately, some children of color have bought into the myth that they are not good in math. We have to combat that kind of thinking. It is their confidence working WITH their abilities that will help them compete.
The goal here is to use what you have available to you in order to promote your children. I remember when my daughters were little; I would find FREE activities in the community for us to attend. Instead of spending a Saturday at the mall with girlfriends, I attended art fairs, listened to speakers at the local libraries, visited community theaters who put on free productions etc. I would network and ask questions, ALWAYS. I didn't have a computer when my girls were really small so when public computers became available at the local libraries, I would get ziplock bags and take my girls to the library. On the way, we would pick up flowers and bugs and rocks etc. When we got to the library, I would put each one on a computer and we would look up what we had found. We talked about it, asked questions about it, argued about it, made up stories etc. We found books about our findings.
I turned the world into a classroom for my children and it did not cost me a dime.
Also, talk to older people in your community. You may have retired teachers, musicians, mathematicians, scientist at your fingertips who would welcome an opportunity to work with your child if they need a little help or inspiration in an area. Don't be pushy, after all they have paid their dues, but you may luck up on one who wants to remain active.
What this post is really saying is that you (Parent) will have to be incredibly ACTIVE in order to promote and educate your little genius. You also have to be a little clever. Remember it's YOUR job. YOURS. You were given that child. Not their teachers, not the guidance counselors. YOU. The teachers and counselors are supposed to enhance your efforts and work with you. This does not mean they should not do their job, but the only way to know if they are doing THEIR job is if you are doing YOURS. Your children's educators need to see you and talk to you and understand what your objective is. Your children should see you advocating and working on their behalf. The classroom should be an extension of the village. You should always be abreast of what is going on in your child's school and classroom. Albeit, as they get older and begin to leave middle school and enter high school, your child should be owning a big part of this process. Yes you should let go a bit. But you still should remain involved on some level. Go to the parent teacher meetings, go to the PTA functions etc.
If you cannot find the time off of work, call the school and ask if they can make arrangements for parents who work. Or get the dates of these meetings early enough and see if you can make adjustments to your schedule at work. If you cannot, do email conferences, or phone conferences. Do something! Host a party at your home for other parents so you can find out what you might be missing or simply establish allies. Find out what parent is active and establish a relationship with them. You get one chance to raise your child. Give it all you can. You will receive a harvest beyond imagination. © 2006 All Rights Reserved
Well there are several things that parents can do to increase the odds that their children will be able to attend college regardless of their income. There are also things parents can do to supplement their children's education at home.
Begin placing the idea of college into your child at a very early age. Allow your child to embrace this vision for their life. When you travel, find out what colleges are the area and set up a visit. Even as early as elementary school. This is particularly if no one in the family has ever gone away to school. The child should become familiar with the lingo and protocol that goes with attending college. College should become part of everyday conversation in the home. This will also give them something tangible to think about while they are in school. Also, when your child enters high school, it is a good idea to set up a rapport with colleges you are interested in. Get to know the people in the admissions and financial offices, the process, etc. If and when you can, go for a visit, and create relationships with the people there. If you cannot visit, then email or call. Do Something.
If your child is interested in a particular area or soars in a particular area, call or email the head of that department. If your child is a very good student send report cards to the school with notes of your family's anticipation about the child attending. If your child is the first one to attend college, let the college know early. First generation college students are very attractive to schools and scholarship resources.
If your child does not have the highest grades, but soars really high in one area, nurture that area and find schools that may be smaller but have a great program in that area. Send items demonstrating your child's high performance in that area. For example, if your child is a phenomenal artist or a great musician, send pictures or samples of their work. Make sure you have their work legally protected. A helpful website to help you protect your child's work is www.copyright.gov
If your child is a great athlete but does not attend a Division 1 highschool, then start keeping track of your child's stats and grades. If your child is doing well in school and is an outstanding athlete, contact schools and invite them to see your child play. Every year send them your child's stats and grades. Send it directly to the coach if you feel bold! If you can, videotape your child while playing as often as you can, and send copies of their performance.
Collect letters of recommendation or character from everyone who spends time with your child. Teachers, youth counselors, pastors etc. Don't wait until their senior year to do this, start EARLY. Start in middle school, elementary even. You may think that is a bit extreme, but keeping these letters and awards in a revered place in the home will build your child's confidence. It also gives potential colleges and private high schools a portfolio of your child.
You should also know your child's guidance counselor by their first name. More importantly, you should make sure that they are doing their job. If the highschool your child attends is not servicing them properly, call other schools and ask the guidance counselors what you should be looking for. Your guidance Counselor can help with fee waivers for college applications, and taking the SAT or ACT. Comparing schools is another way to make sure your child keeps a competitive edge. By the way, become very familiar with www.collegeboard.com
This website is phenomenal. It helps you register for the SAT and the ACT. It also keeps you aware of the dates so you can prepare. The site automatically sends your scores to colleges you indicate and scholarship resources. If you don't have a computer, tell your guidance counselor to help register your child DURING THEIR JUNIOR YEAR. Also, your child may take the SAT test at least three times. Try to have them take all three before the February of their senior year. This may mean taking the test once in the spring or summer of their junior year. Finally, make sure you have completed all financial aid applications by January 31 of their senior year. If you do the application online, you will need an email address and a pin number. Get the guidance counselor to help you. If not, go to the library and get the librarian to help you. Don't let them leave until you understand. That is their job. Or find a young college student at church or in your village to help. Ask early. Let them know in October you will need their help in December. You will need your W2's or proof of the year's income. It may sound scary if you have never done this, but so was driving, balancing a checkbook, and raising a family in the beginning. It just takes one step at a time and if others have done it, you can too.
Also, Don't underestimate partnerships and networking. If you work for a company, find out what scholarships are there. If there aren't any, campaign to create some. Ask your church to start a scholarship fund. Be savvy; don't wait until YOUR child is graduating to do this. Start it while your child is young.
There are also some old fashion methods which includes saving and investing. Each state has an educational plan that you can pay into while your child is young and lock tuition prices so that they don't increase as your child gets older. This is a helpful way, but the truth is, many of us are living paycheck to paycheck and do not feel we are in a position to save and invest. I would argue that we need to work our way out of this lifestyle as well, but until then, there are things we can do to promote and educate our children that are NOT COSTLY.
As for supplementing their education, while your child is young, find out what other schools have their children reading and make sure your child is reading these books. If you visit your local library or bookstore they usually have a summer reading list for most of the schools in the area. Peruse through the list of books for private and suburban schools. If you cannot locate such a list, ask your local librarian for a list of "the classics."
Of course, with children of color, the classics may not always include novels and works that speak to their experiences, so compile your own list of classics. They should not be mutually exclusive of one another. They need to read as much as they can as often as they can. During the summer, while in the bathroom, while waiting at the doctor's office, on long trips. If you need help, call a local community college and find out who is teaching African American literature. Yes, call just like that. The professor will WELCOME the call. I promise. Tell the instructor that you want to compile a list of age appropriate works of literature for your child.
Remember, early is always the key word. When at all possible, start the reading and the love of reading early to your children. Let them see you get excited about books. Let them see you read. Read to them. Make books part of the family.
This is important. College entrance is competitive and your child needs to be able to compete. But most important, their innate inquisitive nature should be trained to seek knowledge and understanding. Always. As for math, when your child begins to tackle algebraic equations and beyond, you should make sure that your child is doing math every night during the school year and at least once a week during the summer to stay fresh. This is the same for foreign language. Math and foreign language are subjects that usually require daily attention in order to grasp it. You may want to start locating resources that help you apply math and logical concepts to everyday life so that you can help your child think and become more familiar and comfortable with thinking in that way. It might take some work and maybe some assistance. But your efforts will bring fruit. Unfortunately, some children of color have bought into the myth that they are not good in math. We have to combat that kind of thinking. It is their confidence working WITH their abilities that will help them compete.
The goal here is to use what you have available to you in order to promote your children. I remember when my daughters were little; I would find FREE activities in the community for us to attend. Instead of spending a Saturday at the mall with girlfriends, I attended art fairs, listened to speakers at the local libraries, visited community theaters who put on free productions etc. I would network and ask questions, ALWAYS. I didn't have a computer when my girls were really small so when public computers became available at the local libraries, I would get ziplock bags and take my girls to the library. On the way, we would pick up flowers and bugs and rocks etc. When we got to the library, I would put each one on a computer and we would look up what we had found. We talked about it, asked questions about it, argued about it, made up stories etc. We found books about our findings.
I turned the world into a classroom for my children and it did not cost me a dime.
Also, talk to older people in your community. You may have retired teachers, musicians, mathematicians, scientist at your fingertips who would welcome an opportunity to work with your child if they need a little help or inspiration in an area. Don't be pushy, after all they have paid their dues, but you may luck up on one who wants to remain active.
What this post is really saying is that you (Parent) will have to be incredibly ACTIVE in order to promote and educate your little genius. You also have to be a little clever. Remember it's YOUR job. YOURS. You were given that child. Not their teachers, not the guidance counselors. YOU. The teachers and counselors are supposed to enhance your efforts and work with you. This does not mean they should not do their job, but the only way to know if they are doing THEIR job is if you are doing YOURS. Your children's educators need to see you and talk to you and understand what your objective is. Your children should see you advocating and working on their behalf. The classroom should be an extension of the village. You should always be abreast of what is going on in your child's school and classroom. Albeit, as they get older and begin to leave middle school and enter high school, your child should be owning a big part of this process. Yes you should let go a bit. But you still should remain involved on some level. Go to the parent teacher meetings, go to the PTA functions etc.
If you cannot find the time off of work, call the school and ask if they can make arrangements for parents who work. Or get the dates of these meetings early enough and see if you can make adjustments to your schedule at work. If you cannot, do email conferences, or phone conferences. Do something! Host a party at your home for other parents so you can find out what you might be missing or simply establish allies. Find out what parent is active and establish a relationship with them. You get one chance to raise your child. Give it all you can. You will receive a harvest beyond imagination. © 2006 All Rights Reserved
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Two-ness
Hello friends,
Last week I spent my Saturday helping a friend grade papers for a class of elementary students. The papers were a series of questions that accompanied a reading selection. The questions and the readings are part of a study that seeks to improve literacy.
As I began to go through the finished papers, I noticed that many of the questions were misleading. I also found that I was being required to grade these papers with the strictest scrutiny. Furthermore, the children's responses were steeped in grammatical errors, misspelled words and incomplete sentences.
I am not suggesting or even implying that the entity conducting this study is not sincere in its efforts to improve literacy. But in that moment while grading those papers I was faced with another well-known W.E.B. DuBois' theory, two-ness. Being Black and Being American. I was frustrated that these test were subjective and misleading. But I was also frustrated with the level of literacy these children exhibited. I knew that their understanding, or lack of, had nothing to do with their abilities, but it had everything to do with their exposure and cultivation. The same study is being conducted in a suburban community in a southern state. According to the scores, it looks like, on the surface, the children in the south are performing better than children who submitted the papers I graded. But anyone with an elementary understanding of sociology, politics or even history knows and understands that there is more at work than just one community outperforming the other.
The question is...what are we going to do about it?
What leader will take what end of this elephant. Be clear, there are two ends. The front of the elephant speaks to years of racism, oppression, agendas, exploitation, pathology, spirit and soul destruction, hate, primitive behavior etc. The other end holds resilience, fortitude, progression, self-advocacy, advancement, love, evolution, steadfastness etc. How do we reconcile these two ends. How do we say to the Institutions that qualify us by class to consider the effects of the front end? How to we say to the people who have been most injured by the front end to continue to employ the methods on the latter end. When will they be able to relax? It's either swim really really well or sink. There is no treading or floating. One would suspect that after a while, this tension would take a toll on the elephant, and divide those attempting to address or exploit the elephant. i.e. Cosby and Dyson
I feel the tug of the elephant when I need to divide my time between pulling and pushing. Pulling parents of color to stay aware, stay sharp, read more, visit your child's school, converse with your child and pushing the taste of racism back down the throats of institutional leaders who perpetuate the ideas of old.
Why the tension? Because mediocrity will never do for children of color. Not until the society we live in begins to have a more fair distribution of opportunities, conditioning and circumstances. Am I advocating for mediocrity? Of course not. I am advocating for a more equitable society. Until the playing field is fairly leveled, those who affect policy must consider the effects of racism and second class citizenship.
In the meantime, I will continue to compel parents to read a little more, work a little harder, spend a little more time preparing our children. I know they are overworked and stretched to their limits. But until we can achieve equity, we must fully embrace education as a tool and we must behave as if we are in the fight of our lives. Yes I understand and believe that parents of every color want their children to succeed. But Parents of children of color need to be more diligent because they must use one lifetime to combat, accomplish, and achieve from a disadvantaged position.
I thought of this when several friends emailed me about Michael Richards' recent antics. Most of them were shocked and appalled but I found his antics refreshing. It's easier to address an enemy in the light than in the dark. People who express ignorance like Richards don't keep me up at night. It's a society that continues to tell children of color that they have to be better, faster and smarter than their counterparts in order to achieve and when they aren't, they have failed. It's a subtle unspoken effect of racism that keeps me up at night.© 2006 All Rights Reserved
Last week I spent my Saturday helping a friend grade papers for a class of elementary students. The papers were a series of questions that accompanied a reading selection. The questions and the readings are part of a study that seeks to improve literacy.
As I began to go through the finished papers, I noticed that many of the questions were misleading. I also found that I was being required to grade these papers with the strictest scrutiny. Furthermore, the children's responses were steeped in grammatical errors, misspelled words and incomplete sentences.
I am not suggesting or even implying that the entity conducting this study is not sincere in its efforts to improve literacy. But in that moment while grading those papers I was faced with another well-known W.E.B. DuBois' theory, two-ness. Being Black and Being American. I was frustrated that these test were subjective and misleading. But I was also frustrated with the level of literacy these children exhibited. I knew that their understanding, or lack of, had nothing to do with their abilities, but it had everything to do with their exposure and cultivation. The same study is being conducted in a suburban community in a southern state. According to the scores, it looks like, on the surface, the children in the south are performing better than children who submitted the papers I graded. But anyone with an elementary understanding of sociology, politics or even history knows and understands that there is more at work than just one community outperforming the other.
The question is...what are we going to do about it?
What leader will take what end of this elephant. Be clear, there are two ends. The front of the elephant speaks to years of racism, oppression, agendas, exploitation, pathology, spirit and soul destruction, hate, primitive behavior etc. The other end holds resilience, fortitude, progression, self-advocacy, advancement, love, evolution, steadfastness etc. How do we reconcile these two ends. How do we say to the Institutions that qualify us by class to consider the effects of the front end? How to we say to the people who have been most injured by the front end to continue to employ the methods on the latter end. When will they be able to relax? It's either swim really really well or sink. There is no treading or floating. One would suspect that after a while, this tension would take a toll on the elephant, and divide those attempting to address or exploit the elephant. i.e. Cosby and Dyson
I feel the tug of the elephant when I need to divide my time between pulling and pushing. Pulling parents of color to stay aware, stay sharp, read more, visit your child's school, converse with your child and pushing the taste of racism back down the throats of institutional leaders who perpetuate the ideas of old.
Why the tension? Because mediocrity will never do for children of color. Not until the society we live in begins to have a more fair distribution of opportunities, conditioning and circumstances. Am I advocating for mediocrity? Of course not. I am advocating for a more equitable society. Until the playing field is fairly leveled, those who affect policy must consider the effects of racism and second class citizenship.
In the meantime, I will continue to compel parents to read a little more, work a little harder, spend a little more time preparing our children. I know they are overworked and stretched to their limits. But until we can achieve equity, we must fully embrace education as a tool and we must behave as if we are in the fight of our lives. Yes I understand and believe that parents of every color want their children to succeed. But Parents of children of color need to be more diligent because they must use one lifetime to combat, accomplish, and achieve from a disadvantaged position.
I thought of this when several friends emailed me about Michael Richards' recent antics. Most of them were shocked and appalled but I found his antics refreshing. It's easier to address an enemy in the light than in the dark. People who express ignorance like Richards don't keep me up at night. It's a society that continues to tell children of color that they have to be better, faster and smarter than their counterparts in order to achieve and when they aren't, they have failed. It's a subtle unspoken effect of racism that keeps me up at night.© 2006 All Rights Reserved
Saturday, August 20, 2005
And They Shall Be Called Scholars...
It is my firm belief that often people will rise to the level of expectation that is placed before them. Consider this, you are starting your dream job in a new town. However, you find out that someone from your last job works for the company and is currently informing everyone of a really big mistake you made at your last job. Due to this unwanted nostalgia, your boss tells you that he will be giving you little assignments to see how you can handle those. He has someone check over all your work before you submit it and he always takes extra time to explain simple concepts to you. How much would you advance in that environment? How well would you perform?
Now imagine that you are starting that same dream job without any history of past mistakes following you in the door. Your boss assures you that he is confident that since you made it through the door after extensive interviews, you are capable of handling your position. Your boss tells you that he is not interested in checking over your shoulder because he believes that he has hired a competent person and that he expects great things from you. Your boss invites you to functions and tells people that you are his newest stellar employee. How well would you flourish in that environment?
Well that is not too different from what our children get. When they are unmercifully and often incorrectly tracked as students with behavior problems, when unprofessional teachers pass bad information on about students, and when parents tell teachers in front of their children, "oh just call me when they mess up I will be right up here," how well do you think they will perform?
These kinds of acts communicate a low level of expectation for children...and the children usually perform at that level of expectation!
I am even more convinced that if we start treating our children like scholars and responsible people then they will unconsciously begin to flirt with those concepts. It begins with language! There must be language and discussion about expectation. Young girls and boys should know that their village at large is watching and rooting for them. When they exhibit behavior that is counterproductive to their own performance as advancing scholars, then we must call them on the behavior. But calling them on it necessarily includes a discussion of their value and ability. Children must know that they are expected to do well because they can do well. We must teach them that we not only want them to do well, but we need them to. We need to bring them in on the planning process of pursuing social and economic change for our communities. They must get the blueprints. They need to hear the discussions that we have at our private meetings when we squawk and complain about their performance. Often the only message that comes across to children who don't perform is one of disappointment that precedes a punitive action. I say pull a up chair for them at the table. Let them hear how valuable they are, what other communities think of them, and how to create conditions for change. They must have a sense of pride and connection. Teach them our history, but more importantly teach them that someone is waiting to write their history.
We need meetings where we talk to the children collectively. Not isolated instances of reprimand, but a collective method of encouragement. They need to visibly see the village. We need to communicate our expectations "to" them and stop talking "about" them. They are the participants, willing and unwilling. When we teach the parents..the children should be there. Tell them what we expect from them and what we need.
Finally, when you are blessed with the opportunity to influence a child, let that child know that you know they can do it. That you know that they can achieve and that you are going to be their biggest cheerleader. It makes all the difference in the world! Greet them as Scholars and they will follow suit...
Peace © 2005 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Now imagine that you are starting that same dream job without any history of past mistakes following you in the door. Your boss assures you that he is confident that since you made it through the door after extensive interviews, you are capable of handling your position. Your boss tells you that he is not interested in checking over your shoulder because he believes that he has hired a competent person and that he expects great things from you. Your boss invites you to functions and tells people that you are his newest stellar employee. How well would you flourish in that environment?
Well that is not too different from what our children get. When they are unmercifully and often incorrectly tracked as students with behavior problems, when unprofessional teachers pass bad information on about students, and when parents tell teachers in front of their children, "oh just call me when they mess up I will be right up here," how well do you think they will perform?
These kinds of acts communicate a low level of expectation for children...and the children usually perform at that level of expectation!
I am even more convinced that if we start treating our children like scholars and responsible people then they will unconsciously begin to flirt with those concepts. It begins with language! There must be language and discussion about expectation. Young girls and boys should know that their village at large is watching and rooting for them. When they exhibit behavior that is counterproductive to their own performance as advancing scholars, then we must call them on the behavior. But calling them on it necessarily includes a discussion of their value and ability. Children must know that they are expected to do well because they can do well. We must teach them that we not only want them to do well, but we need them to. We need to bring them in on the planning process of pursuing social and economic change for our communities. They must get the blueprints. They need to hear the discussions that we have at our private meetings when we squawk and complain about their performance. Often the only message that comes across to children who don't perform is one of disappointment that precedes a punitive action. I say pull a up chair for them at the table. Let them hear how valuable they are, what other communities think of them, and how to create conditions for change. They must have a sense of pride and connection. Teach them our history, but more importantly teach them that someone is waiting to write their history.
We need meetings where we talk to the children collectively. Not isolated instances of reprimand, but a collective method of encouragement. They need to visibly see the village. We need to communicate our expectations "to" them and stop talking "about" them. They are the participants, willing and unwilling. When we teach the parents..the children should be there. Tell them what we expect from them and what we need.
Finally, when you are blessed with the opportunity to influence a child, let that child know that you know they can do it. That you know that they can achieve and that you are going to be their biggest cheerleader. It makes all the difference in the world! Greet them as Scholars and they will follow suit...
Peace © 2005 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
When A Girl-Child Leaves The Village--
Last Sunday, I gave my oldest child a graduation/birthday party. She will be turning eighteen. What is even more exciting is that she will be attending college in a few weeks. Everyone is so happy for her and I am encouraged about her future. What I didn't expect however, was how incredibly saddened I would be. No one ever prepared me for that. As I watched the members of her village gather around her and share thoughts and words of encouragement with her...I knew in my heart that she has had the right training ground to make it in any setting. She is poised, well-spoken, thoughtful and savvy. But most importantly, she is loved and good people pour into her spirit often. I guess in all honesty I should relax and enjoy this ride...
Well maybe four years from now I will...but today...my thoughts are bittersweet. I should have known that when you raise leaders...at some point...they must go and lead..
So Here's to you Lei! I love you and I am thinking about your wellness today. I am also being a little selfish and refusing to let go of my precious memories, but I love you enough to flow in my true anointing of Motherhood, which inherently includes, letting go.... Happy Future Baby...and here are some things I need you to remember while you are away and throughout your journey of life: 1) challenge authority when it smells like oppression 2) Be true to yourself as you learn yourself 3) own your lessons and praise your accomplishments 4) that piece of the pie is YOURS...it was already set aside for you...just go get it...5) give back to the village and always lift as you climb 6) Follow your first mind...because that is God...7) talk to God as you go through your day, you will be guided always 8)Remember that eagles do not fly with pigeons...they only soar alone 9 )Get real clear about your worth...and remember it is not the world's job to determine your worth, thus it cannot be determined by any outside influence...it will only come from a knowledge of who you are, and who Created you 10) no matter what you do My Love...be the best because that is who you truly are 11) finally, remember you are a free spirit which makes you open to new ideas. Be careful with that gift, for it is only to fight oppression and to generate creativity. The responsibility of being a free spirit includes a commitment to a sense of balance and wholeness. Learn to discern the difference between distortions and free thinking. Even freedom has some guidelines, and if you are ever unsure, consult your inner spirit...you can always find clarity there.
I love you Beautiful...and you can always count on that reality.
Forever
Mommy... © 2005 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Well maybe four years from now I will...but today...my thoughts are bittersweet. I should have known that when you raise leaders...at some point...they must go and lead..
So Here's to you Lei! I love you and I am thinking about your wellness today. I am also being a little selfish and refusing to let go of my precious memories, but I love you enough to flow in my true anointing of Motherhood, which inherently includes, letting go.... Happy Future Baby...and here are some things I need you to remember while you are away and throughout your journey of life: 1) challenge authority when it smells like oppression 2) Be true to yourself as you learn yourself 3) own your lessons and praise your accomplishments 4) that piece of the pie is YOURS...it was already set aside for you...just go get it...5) give back to the village and always lift as you climb 6) Follow your first mind...because that is God...7) talk to God as you go through your day, you will be guided always 8)Remember that eagles do not fly with pigeons...they only soar alone 9 )Get real clear about your worth...and remember it is not the world's job to determine your worth, thus it cannot be determined by any outside influence...it will only come from a knowledge of who you are, and who Created you 10) no matter what you do My Love...be the best because that is who you truly are 11) finally, remember you are a free spirit which makes you open to new ideas. Be careful with that gift, for it is only to fight oppression and to generate creativity. The responsibility of being a free spirit includes a commitment to a sense of balance and wholeness. Learn to discern the difference between distortions and free thinking. Even freedom has some guidelines, and if you are ever unsure, consult your inner spirit...you can always find clarity there.
I love you Beautiful...and you can always count on that reality.
Forever
Mommy... © 2005 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Be mindful of your village
One day several years ago as I was crossing the street in downtown Cleveland, I noticed two young people wrestling in the lobby of a building near my office. As I advanced towards the building, I realized that the two young people consisted of a boy and a girl and they were not wrestling. The young boy, who I later found out was fourteen at the time, was throwing the young lady around and groping her all the while. The young lady was also fourteen at the time. I was a bit concerned when I realized how much they were enjoying this youthful pseudo-sexual romp in public. Her clothes were in disarray and her suitor seemed more and more aggressive as I approached them.
I walked in and not surprisingly, they were so engaged in their playfulness, they did not realize that an adult was now in the lobby with them. As I assessed the surroundings I noticed that they were also unaware that they were on camera the whole time.
I cleared my throat and got their attention. The young lady looked as if she had been caught doing something she shouldn't have. The young man looked proud of himself at first and then he looked annoyed.
I spent the next few minutes speaking to both of them. The young man walked out of the lobby but the young lady remained. She was waiting on her aunt to get off of work. I spoke to the young lady a little longer about her ideas regarding self worth and expectation.
She hugged me when I left.
I saw that young lady today as I was coming to work. She gave me a hug before I remembered who she was. She has graduated from highschool and is starting college in the fall.
She told me that she remembered my discussion with her and that she appreciated what I did. I was not so naive to believe that one discussion with me would change her life, but I do believe that as we encounter people we can add water and sunlight to seeds of hope that live in all of us. I believe the passion and sincerity that I demonstrated towards her was more effective than the words I selected.
Adults, If you notice that the children in your village need your wisdom or guidance, don't turn a blind eye. You never know how much you can assist in shaping someone's course. More importantly...it is your village duty.
Peace © 2005 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
I walked in and not surprisingly, they were so engaged in their playfulness, they did not realize that an adult was now in the lobby with them. As I assessed the surroundings I noticed that they were also unaware that they were on camera the whole time.
I cleared my throat and got their attention. The young lady looked as if she had been caught doing something she shouldn't have. The young man looked proud of himself at first and then he looked annoyed.
I spent the next few minutes speaking to both of them. The young man walked out of the lobby but the young lady remained. She was waiting on her aunt to get off of work. I spoke to the young lady a little longer about her ideas regarding self worth and expectation.
She hugged me when I left.
I saw that young lady today as I was coming to work. She gave me a hug before I remembered who she was. She has graduated from highschool and is starting college in the fall.
She told me that she remembered my discussion with her and that she appreciated what I did. I was not so naive to believe that one discussion with me would change her life, but I do believe that as we encounter people we can add water and sunlight to seeds of hope that live in all of us. I believe the passion and sincerity that I demonstrated towards her was more effective than the words I selected.
Adults, If you notice that the children in your village need your wisdom or guidance, don't turn a blind eye. You never know how much you can assist in shaping someone's course. More importantly...it is your village duty.
Peace © 2005 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Being proactive prevents unwelcome stress
It's almost that time of year when you have to start shopping for school supplies, new clothes and after school programs. Those are the basic telltale signs that a new school year is beginning. Savvy parents know however, that it should not stop there. Make sure that you take the time to meet with your child's new teachers at the beginning of the year. Explain to the teacher what your expectations are for your child and let their teachers know that you are there to be supportive in this effort. Try to get an idea what your child's teachers expect from you as a parent and from your child as a student. Inform the teacher to alert you if there is any decrease in academic performance, or if any behavior problems arise. Express to your child's teachers that you do not like being blindsided by unsuspecting progress reports that indicate your child is not doing well. However, be clear that poor performance is not the only time you want to hear from them.
Furthermore, inform your child's teachers of any free time that you might have to volunteer. Get involved with the school as much as you possibly can. If your schedule prevents you from volunteering during the day at any time, work with the school's administrators and PTA to find activities that can occur outside of school hours. Be creative and committed. Do not wait to be invited. Take the initiative. You don't wait until the bank invites you to come and check on your money do you? You wouldn't care if your money was housed in a bank where you thought people didn't like you, you would walk in and demand to see how your money is being handled. You pay attention to your paychecks....you know when they are coming and if they are not what they should be. Well, your children are worth so much more than your money. Be just as tenacious about their education.
Additionally, provide methods of communication for your child's school. (i.e., cell phone, email) Emails are great ways to communicate when you cannot be present for conferences. Talk to your child's school about email conferences.
Finally, be pleasant. Some teachers are guarded at the beginning of the year. Do not come off as intimidating or neurotic. This is not to say don't be assertive or feel entitled, but the adage that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar rings true. So be cordial and be sincere, but by all means parents, be involved! © 2005 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Furthermore, inform your child's teachers of any free time that you might have to volunteer. Get involved with the school as much as you possibly can. If your schedule prevents you from volunteering during the day at any time, work with the school's administrators and PTA to find activities that can occur outside of school hours. Be creative and committed. Do not wait to be invited. Take the initiative. You don't wait until the bank invites you to come and check on your money do you? You wouldn't care if your money was housed in a bank where you thought people didn't like you, you would walk in and demand to see how your money is being handled. You pay attention to your paychecks....you know when they are coming and if they are not what they should be. Well, your children are worth so much more than your money. Be just as tenacious about their education.
Additionally, provide methods of communication for your child's school. (i.e., cell phone, email) Emails are great ways to communicate when you cannot be present for conferences. Talk to your child's school about email conferences.
Finally, be pleasant. Some teachers are guarded at the beginning of the year. Do not come off as intimidating or neurotic. This is not to say don't be assertive or feel entitled, but the adage that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar rings true. So be cordial and be sincere, but by all means parents, be involved! © 2005 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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