And They Shall Be Called Scholars...

It is my firm belief that often people will rise to the level of expectation that is placed before them. Consider this, you are starting your dream job in a new town. However, you find out that someone from your last job works for the company and is currently informing everyone of a really big mistake you made at your last job. Due to this unwanted nostalgia, your boss tells you that he will be giving you little assignments to see how you can handle those. He has someone check over all your work before you submit it and he always takes extra time to explain simple concepts to you. How much would you advance in that environment? How well would you perform?

Now imagine that you are starting that same dream job without any history of past mistakes following you in the door. Your boss assures you that he is confident that since you made it through the door after extensive interviews, you are capable of handling your position. Your boss tells you that he is not interested in checking over your shoulder because he believes that he has hired a competent person and that he expects great things from you. Your boss invites you to functions and tells people that you are his newest stellar employee. How well would you flourish in that environment?

Well that is not too different from what our children get. When they are unmercifully and often incorrectly tracked as students with behavior problems, when unprofessional teachers pass bad information on about students, and when parents tell teachers in front of their children, "oh just call me when they mess up I will be right up here," how well do you think they will perform?

These kinds of acts communicate a low level of expectation for children...and the children usually perform at that level of expectation!


I am even more convinced that if we start treating our children like scholars and responsible people then they will unconsciously begin to flirt with those concepts. It begins with language! There must be language and discussion about expectation. Young girls and boys should know that their village at large is watching and rooting for them. When they exhibit behavior that is counterproductive to their own performance as advancing scholars, then we must call them on the behavior. But calling them on it necessarily includes a discussion of their value and ability. Children must know that they are expected to do well because they can do well. We must teach them that we not only want them to do well, but we need them to. We need to bring them in on the planning process of pursuing social and economic change for our communities. They must get the blueprints. They need to hear the discussions that we have at our private meetings when we squawk and complain about their performance. Often the only message that comes across to children who don't perform is one of disappointment that precedes a punitive action. I say pull a up chair for them at the table. Let them hear how valuable they are, what other communities think of them, and how to create conditions for change. They must have a sense of pride and connection. Teach them our history, but more importantly teach them that someone is waiting to write their history.

We need meetings where we talk to the children collectively. Not isolated instances of reprimand, but a collective method of encouragement. They need to visibly see the village. We need to communicate our expectations "to" them and stop talking "about" them. They are the participants, willing and unwilling. When we teach the parents..the children should be there. Tell them what we expect from them and what we need.

Finally, when you are blessed with the opportunity to influence a child, let that child know that you know they can do it. That you know that they can achieve and that you are going to be their biggest cheerleader. It makes all the difference in the world! Greet them as Scholars and they will follow suit...

Peace © 2005 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

When A Girl-Child Leaves The Village--

Last Sunday, I gave my oldest child a graduation/birthday party. She will be turning eighteen. What is even more exciting is that she will be attending college in a few weeks. Everyone is so happy for her and I am encouraged about her future. What I didn't expect however, was how incredibly saddened I would be. No one ever prepared me for that. As I watched the members of her village gather around her and share thoughts and words of encouragement with her...I knew in my heart that she has had the right training ground to make it in any setting. She is poised, well-spoken, thoughtful and savvy. But most importantly, she is loved and good people pour into her spirit often. I guess in all honesty I should relax and enjoy this ride...

Well maybe four years from now I will...but today...my thoughts are bittersweet. I should have known that when you raise leaders...at some point...they must go and lead..

So Here's to you Lei! I love you and I am thinking about your wellness today. I am also being a little selfish and refusing to let go of my precious memories, but I love you enough to flow in my true anointing of Motherhood, which inherently includes, letting go.... Happy Future Baby...and here are some things I need you to remember while you are away and throughout your journey of life: 1) challenge authority when it smells like oppression 2) Be true to yourself as you learn yourself 3) own your lessons and praise your accomplishments 4) that piece of the pie is YOURS...it was already set aside for you...just go get it...5) give back to the village and always lift as you climb 6) Follow your first mind...because that is God...7) talk to God as you go through your day, you will be guided always 8)Remember that eagles do not fly with pigeons...they only soar alone 9 )Get real clear about your worth...and remember it is not the world's job to determine your worth, thus it cannot be determined by any outside influence...it will only come from a knowledge of who you are, and who Created you 10) no matter what you do My Love...be the best because that is who you truly are 11) finally, remember you are a free spirit which makes you open to new ideas. Be careful with that gift, for it is only to fight oppression and to generate creativity. The responsibility of being a free spirit includes a commitment to a sense of balance and wholeness. Learn to discern the difference between distortions and free thinking. Even freedom has some guidelines, and if you are ever unsure, consult your inner spirit...you can always find clarity there.

I love you Beautiful...and you can always count on that reality.

Forever
Mommy... © 2005 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED